Your Breaking Point Could Be Your New Beginning

by Irena Kongsuwan

We all have days when we want to flip a table and split. But we don't do it. People rarely take the risk of making a major change, even when they are deeply unhappy. We cling to what feels like too much to lose.

So why are we pulled toward change at all, and what stops us from making the move? How can embracing risk lead to a fuller, more meaningful life? 

The Pull Toward Change

A pang for something different, a desire for  growth, and wanting to snap at work can all draw us toward making a drastic change, even when life is otherwise good.  We wonder what it would be like, had we chosen a different path, or if we walk out that door right now. Thinking about all the possibilities can be exciting!

In Croatia, café culture is a part of life.

 

We picture ourselves looking out over the sea, running our own shop, or being completely unattached. This indulgence can spiral into obsession and that's what happened to me when I started casually looking at what it would be like to live in Europe. The more I researched, the more I wanted to dive in. 

Dreaming up the escape plan often comes on hard days when change feels less like fantasy and more a questioning of life’s purpose. Letting ourselves mentally sketch out the details can start to form a vision of what we truly want.

As the idea takes shape, so does the awareness of what it would cost. We think of what we’d have to sacrifice. The discomfort of risking the life we have for the life we want can be worth it, though, even if the end result is only dream-adjacent. Big changes push us to live closer to the pulse of life so even if we don’t nail it, we will have lived more fully by trying.

Imagine daily walks where you can feel the energy of the sea.

 

As we approach life’s milestones, we are filled with hope. The first apartment, graduation, the birth of a child—each moment raises questions about who we are and what we want. Nearing retirement, our imagination turns to how we'll spend hours once consumed by work. We picture new rituals: “I’ll begin the day writing, then linger over coffee in the piazza”.

Why we stay stuck

Sticking with the familiar is easy. We just show up and hit autopilot. Half the time we don’t even notice we’re doing it.  We look forward to our free time and are happy to be just comfortable. The thought of losing any security is scary. 

Fear of loss definitely comes into play for me. It's a massive risk to pursue moving to a new continent, which I am itching to do. I have no first-hand experience living in Europe so don't know what that would really be like. On the other hand, I moved to Asia and, even though it was very different from anything I had known, I stuck around. I enjoyed an amazing social life, and the big and small challenges I faced each day. At the same time, new (to me) cultural norms were tough to get used to. 

Life in the jungle in southern Thailand. 

 

In a world that misleads us to stay in our lane, the thought of leaving behind what we know has us feeling uneasy.  I have a secure job that I like, a small creative business (www.affinefibers.ca), a great little house, and my family super close by. By moving, I stand to lose a lot. When would I see my family? Will I be able to continue my creative work? How will I support myself? Can I be happy without all the extras?

 

The Case For Risk

But what if staying the same is the more difficult path? Some folks dread their daily routine but slog through it anyway, caught in the ever-tightening grip of the rat race. Money can motivate us, but it’s not enough to ignite a real passion for life. It only matters for the experiences it makes possible and if we are not using money to that end, things can sure feel bleak. 

Our society keeps nudging us to pile on more stuff, when what we really crave is meaning, adventure, and connection. It's hard to ignore the allure of shiny new possessions but the truth is that another designer handbag won’t change your life. Chasing a wild dream, however, will.

 

She's a beaut, but owning this pleasure craft would not make me happy. 

 

We’re all complex, with our own mix of quirks, needs, and desires. Following outside voices that tell us to play it safe and compete against everyone else isn’t a good fit for most. Yet, so many of us are taking the prescribed steps through life. Unfortunately, any joy that comes from that is short-lived, which leaves us wanting more.

Louis Vuitton in Paris is calling! 

 

Why not veer from the norm and find the custom fit?

If there’s an idea that keeps tugging at you, don’t ignore it. Those persistent longings are pointing us toward the life we’re meant to build and we don't get endless chances. Taking the leap might be scary, but it’s also the way to a life that feels alive, not just endured.

Look inside

In order to identify what we want our lives to look like, we’ve got to dig deep. If we put off the exploration of what truly makes us happy, how can we find genuine happiness? It's always a good time to put down outside influences to spend time with your mind working through all the questions. We don’t need others to tell us what we want, we need to put in the work to figure it out for ourselves.

I recently wrote a post about drafting my big dream. Read it here.

Step out of your comfort zone

It doesn’t have to be dramatic—try Moroccan food for the first time, sign up for an in-person course, or wander through a new art gallery. Each small stretch wakes up our adaptability muscle and reminds us how capable we are. When we only stick to what we know, even something as simple as a meal in a restaurant can disappoint, because it doesn't match the familiar. Embracing novelty broadens our perspective while sharpening the mind.

Stepping away from the familiar is where the adventure begins. Pushing our limits teaches us to rise to the challenge. Every new experience brings us closer to knowing ourselves and the world around us.

Seen on the trip that sparked my wish to move abroad—perseverance captured on canvas.

Excuses are the death of dreams!

Change tests our perseverance and resolve. Our attitude will be the difference between feeling like we've made the right or wrong choice and will determine how the story unfolds.

Here are three things to keep in mind if you are embarking on a life change:

• Face discomfort as a natural part of growth and transformation.
• Be resourceful and independent. Every problem has a solution. Just find it.
• Make mistakes. They build on mastery and resilience for future obstacles. 

Taking risks builds character, and for many of us, that’s what life is about: creating experiences we love today and stories we’ll share tomorrow. Putting our life's work on the line takes sacrifice, but so does staying stuck in the grind. There’s no single ‘right path’ but if we follow someone else’s idea of a good life instead of our own, we’ll always be left asking "What if...?"

Safe never made a good story.

Learn about one interesting guy who left his corner office for a meaningful life: AJ Leon

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